Lately

And this is strange for me, but for the past week I have been thinking more about what would happen if i was a transman.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a girl, and supposed to be a girl.... Wait do I? The more I think about it the more unsure I am, and thoughts of disappointing my family and alienating my friends are swirling around in my head with thoughts of how liberating and how terrifying it would be to be male.

I guess if it comes to be as terrifying then its not something I should consider, and when i look at my reasons for why I would become a man, the top two are weight loss and clothing options, which are outrageously superficial.

Also, I don't want to BE a man. I found myself in an intense argument with an idiot earlier this week who insisted that butches just want to be men, and even took it so far as to say that femmes date butches becaus they really just want to date men. That really pissed me off.

I for all intents and purposes am a butch, dyke if you will. I don't want to BE a man. I just think I look best in ties and collared shirts.

I guess I'm frustrated that these shirts I bought are too wide at shoulders and too narrow at hip. I wish I was skiny.
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