I worked all day in a town about thirty minuets from my new job. Recently I was transferred to work at a branch in my home town, and now I find myself back where I started. Overall the day was prosperous, I opened six accounts which equals out to something like five hundred bucks. Which is great!
Anyways in my down time today I was reading through a whole bunch of blogs that I liked and bookmarked, and the blogs that draw me are the ones about transgendered FTM people and their stories, and femmes talking about their identity, and just stuff about people figuring out or musing who they are. A few things struck me as singular.
1. No one is really the same. Does that make since? I mean no one can really be classified. Sure there are stereotypes, but its crazy how few people actually fit them perfectly.
2. I am not and have never been or will ever be a femme. For a while I tricked myself into thinking that I wanted to be, that it was something I needed to be, that I needed to somehow beat the stereotype that lesbians=butches and be a femme, and still be gay. But I've since given that up. I can be whatever the fuck I want to be, and for me that's a boots and skinny jeans-leather-jacket-thermal-shirt-short-hair-big-glasses-wearing-lesbian-coming-out-as-a-genderqueer "girl", and that's okay.
3. Queers, all of us, are hot. I have this burning love of queers, all shapes and sizes.
4. Just because I've imagined what it would be like to become an FTM doesn't mean I'm any less butch or lesbian or genderqueer or whatever. Its a thought that I entertain often, I do with sometimes I had facial hair and a huge rod. But then I dont, and I get all disgusted by the thought and I go back and forth in a spiral and it sucks. But that's because I think A LOT, and that's something I'm usually prepared for.
Anyways, even though no one reads this blog, I'd love to know your thoughts. How comfortable are you not fitting into a stereotype, just being?
It took me a long time, but I'm comfortable just being, and it's something I'm rather proud of.
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